Doctor Whooves 3: The Parasprite Predicament
by Laura Heartstrings
Summary: Derpy has been arrested by R.I.F.T. under the assumption that she knows more than she's letting on. She soon discovers that Lyra is not quite as sane as she seems, and an invisible ally attempts to contact her. But can Derpy really trust her? Meanwhile the TARDIS crash-lands in Fillydelphia, 987, and Pinkie decides a party is needed, despite the giant doomsday device.
1. Prologue

Three ponies sat in a shadowy room. The only thing that let them see was a dim candle in the centre of the table, which cast an eerie glow upon the cherry red liquid in the plastic cups.

"See I told you this tasted better than that nasty tea you always make me drink!" One of the Ponies spoke up

"I offered you a cup of tea; you were the one who drank the whole thing, and that was once!" The second pony rolled her eyes

"Look, now is not the time to get into another one of your arguments!" The third pony interrupted. She reached for her drink but ended up spilling it "arragh! Does this room have to be so dark?"

The second pony levitated her cup "One must always have a dark and mysterious room for dark and mysterious meetings."

"Honestly, I thought you would have been in this whole mess long enough at this point to understand that." The first pony adjusted her hoodie

"You two have issues."

"And you don't like it when we know more than you." The first pony countered

The third pony scowled "What do you mean?"

"Well would you look at this? Our happy little know it all knows nothing at all!" The first pony smirked

"That was rude yet brilliant." The second pony took a sip then turned to the third pony "Well we're from after this is all over; although we have reason to believe it's not over yet, yet the current problem you are dealing with is over, we are still dealing with what is technically the same problem but different, considering that we were actually always dealing with that problem but differently, so in some ways we are dealing with that problem because it's not over till it's over, I need an example here…"

"Pilot fish." The first pony said simply

"Yes! Pilot fish, an absolutely perfect example for what we're dealing with!"

"Why thank you!"

"Pilot fish? What's that supposed to mean? And what does that have to do with anything?"

"The point being that we are very used to you knowing everything cause the you we are always meeting is from the future and knows more than us. Now why were you here again?"

"The pony who has the journal, Derpy Hooves, she was arrested and the book was apprehended."

"Well that's a bit unfortunate isn't it?"

"And I need your help to get the book out of their hooves."

"And why do you want the book so badly?" The first pony leaned forward "What is so very important about this book that you have to have it? Is it worth something? Does it have any Sentimental value?"

"Oh don't pretend that you don't know, that thing could be the answer to this whole problem, I just want to know what's happening okay?"

The two mares stared at her for a few seconds, looked at each other than back to her

"Fine." The second pony finally said "Your best bet is to get Derpy out of there, wherever she goes, the journal goes."

The first pony tossed her a USB stick "This has all the R.I.F.T. security information, everything you need to get the job done, It's a heavily encrypted though, haven't had the time to unravel it yet" she took sip of the drink "besides, you need a good puzzle."

"But I'm not any good with computers" She stared at her for a few seconds "I'm gonna have to contact past you aren't I?"

"Yes."

"Well, then "The third pony stood up "I'd better get going." She walked towards the door

"Surprise?" The second pony asked

The white earth pony turned around with a dramatic flick of her yellow mane "Yes?"

"Don't do anything stupid."

She grinned "When have I done anything stupid?"


	2. Which Witch is Which?

Cloudchaser pulled the blindfold off of Derpys eyes, she was sitting at a table across from Lyra. On one wall there was a one sided window, and the other were blank, painted with a metallic grey, not quite silver.

"The hoofcuffs Cloudchaser." Lyra gestured to Derpys hooves

"Care to explain why I was arrested?" Derpy asked curtly once they were off

"Easy, you had something we needed." The stallion that was in the arresting party gave Lyra the journal "Thank you Ethan." She turned back to Derpy "Admittedly our methods weren't… the most elegant, but we believe it's effective."

"But that journal is mine!"

"Relax, you'll have full access to it, in fact," The unicorn took a deep breath "We were wondering if you would work with us on this certain case."

"Are you insane? You arrest me to give me a job offer? You cause my family to panic about something they have nothing to do with? "

"Look it is extremely important that we know what's going on, Ponyville is in danger, no, Equestria, all of Gaia is in danger and the answer to saving it is in this journal , and if you don't cooperate everything could be destroyed!" Lyra snapped

"You say that as if I know what's going on but I am as in the dark as you are, if not more! I want some straight answers, nothing has made sense since the blackout and I'm starting to doubt it ever will!" Her eyes went crossed as she got frustrated "Uh oh."

She flew around clumsily , knocking over furniture, crashing into walls, kicking ponies in the face, until Cloudchaser struck her in the back with a tazer.

Derpys whole body felt numb, she tried to get up, but her legs wouldn't allow it

Lyra sighed, "Take her to confinement."

Cloud chaser poked Derpy "You gonna be able to walk?"

"auuugh dohn hink po"

"I'll take that as a no." She picked her up and flew out the door. "I really need to turn down that tazer

Derpy couldn't see, where she was going, everything was to blurry, the walls were a bluey grey, that much she could make out.

Eventually Cloudchaser kicked a panel in the wall, whoch opened a door which was either very discreet or Derpy just couldn't see it, she really couldn't tell which.

After setting the mailmare down, Cloudchaser gave her some pills

"These should help with the dizziness." They white pills fell to the ground and the periwinkle Pegasus rolled her eyes "Here." She shoved them into Derpys mouth, then dragged her onto the bed, and with one swift movement, she left the room. the door closed and Derpy began to feel drowsy

Those were sleeping pills she realised as the world went black.

Derpy awoke to a gentle tapping sound. Early morning light filtered through a narrow window that bordered the ceiling. The room Derpy had slept in was small, just big enough so it was comfertable. On the wall opposite the bed Derpy had be plopped onto, there was a dark pine desk with an alarm clock on it, but otherwise it was clear. The walls were plain, painted the same shade as the hallway she had been dragged through. The grey Pegasus had slept on top of the sheets, which were now strewn everywhere. The comfeter was a rather dazzling shade of midnight blue, whereas the other sheets and the pillowcase were a sterile white. It was a very nice room, and Derpy felt fully rested for the first time in a week.

There was another gentle tap at the door, and this time a stallion walked in.

He looked about sixteen, probably an intern trying to work his way up to the top. His coat was dark blue, lighter than the sheets, and his mane was a brown mop, that looked neat yet unstyled. His horn was glowing as he leveitated a clipboard, which rather helped the official look he was trying to pull off, with his purple eyes looking out from behind black rimmed glasses, and his too-big labcoat. But despite the major clothes change, Derpy recognised him as the stallion that had been in the team that arrested her.

"Hi!" he fidgeted with his clipboard "I'm Ethan, I will be the pony that, well, um, is working with you while" He cringed "case butter is ongoing."

"Case butter?"

"Cloudchaser and Flitter, the ponies that arrested you, are talking to Lyra about getting the name changed, in the mean time I can answer any questions you have."

"What is case butter and why in Celestias name is it called case butter?"

"Except for those, it's very confidential, I'm just an intern, I'm not allowed to know that stuff, very few ponies actually know about it."

"Why did they put you on a case and not let you know anything about it?"

"Well, I asked to be put on it as soon as I found out Pinkie was…" He turned bright red "Never mind"

"What about Pinkie?"

"Nothing."

"What about Pinkie?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh I get it. You have a crush on…"

"Don't tell Lyra! I'll get kicked off the case and I have wanted to be on it since I got this internship, before Pinkie got involved!"

"If you don't know what it is than how did you know Pinkie was involved?"

Ethan shrugged "Figured it out, it was a guess really."

"And if very few ponies know about it, how did an intern find out about it."

"Okay, I'd better rephrase that, very few ponies know what it is, including me, the only ponies I know are on it are Lyra, Bon Bon, Caramel, Cloudchaser and Flitter, even though it is the top priority case"

"I didn't know that any of them worked here."

"That's kind of the point isn't it?"

"I guess."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Where am I?"

"This room is used for ponies that stay at work late and need a place to sleep, we have about five of these, but they can be locked from the outside if necessary, when ponies are taken into confinement."

"Oh, who usually stays here?"

"I think it's best we wait before I tell you the names of every pony that has ever worked here."

"So what exactly is this place anyway"

"R.I.F.T. HQ. R.I.F.T. being an acronym for research institute for fissures in time."

"Right, and what exactly does R.I.F.T. do?"

"Well we study Extraterrestrial objects and beings."

"Extraterrestrial beings? You mean like aliens?"

"In theory, yes, I mean,we try to find and contact alien species, and we would be responsible form studying them. If we found any."

"How exactly did you get an intern ship here anyway?

"It was offered to me, Bon Bon came over to my house about a week after I moved to Ponyville and offered it to me."

"When was that?"

"About six months ago."

"So you've lived in Ponyville for six months, But I've never seen you on the mail roster "

"That's because this is a secret agency, we have to be very discrete."

"Why is this a secret agency anyway? so you look for alien life, what's the problem?"

"Well some of the secret stuff wouldn't be secret if I told you would it?"

"Suppose not."

"Alright, if that's all your questions, would you like to get some breakfast?"

Derpys stomach growled as she remembered that she hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday

"Yeah, I'm starved! You kind of interrupted me going to dinner."

"So you can tell it's me then?" He grimaced

"Yeah, just a bit."

The breakfast severed at the R.I.F.T. canteen was nice and filling, and didn't lack in taste or quality,it consisted of a fruit salad, a juice box, oatmeal, and (to Derpys delight) a nice warm chocolate muffin.

It was gone within five minutes.

"Wow, you really weren't kidding when you said you were hungry." Ethan blinked

Derpy giggled than burped "Pardon." she giggled again

"Alright, Lyra wants to see us as soon as possible."

"What is Lyra deal anyway? Why doesn't she like the Doctor?"

"Which doctor?"

"No, I don't think he's a witch doctor."

"No,not witch doctor, which doctor!"

"Wait, which witch are you using?"

""Which!"

"I told you, he's not a witch doctor!"

"What doctor?"

"The Doctor!"

"Which doctor?"

"He's not a witch doctor!"

"Oh for crying out loud! who are you talking about?"

"The Doctor!"

"Who's the Doctor?"

"I don't know!"

"Then why..." he groaned "Let's go see Lyra."

This time when walking to the interrogation room, Derpy could actually see where she was going, which was quite a relieve, seeing where she was going, she was glad to see that the walls actually were the bluey grey she thought she had seen, although it looked a lot nicer than she thought. The floors consisted of large white, rectangular tiles.

When they reached the interrogation room, Lyra was sitting at the other side, Bon Bon was nowhere to be seen, although Cloudchaser and Flitter were standing behind Derpy, enough room so she didn't feel uncomfortable, but visibly ready to spring into action at a moments notice, and they clearly were Cloudchaser and Flitter this time, they didn't have the helmets on.

"Alright I'm going to be frank here."Lyra sighed "You're either going to be cooperative or your not. I personally think that if you were

cooperative and told us all you knew than we could all be out of this mess quicker."

"That's the thing, I don't know anything!"

"So you're not going to be cooperative."

"No I just..."

Bon Bon walked in "Lyra, there's something you should see."

Lyra laughed in an awkward fashion "I'm kind of in the middle of something here Bon Bon." She hissed through her teeth

"Yes, but this is kind of important."

Lyra brushed her bangs back, frustrated "Is it vitally urgent?"

"Yes! Trust me, if I didn't tell you immediately you would get really annoyed at me later."

"You're probably right." Lyra nodded casually "So what's the problem?"

"Look for yourself." she shoved a red shape at Lyra, who raised an eyebrow but said nothing. when she opened it, her questioning look turned to one of confusion,the alarm.

"What did you do?" She turned quickly to Derpy

"What... I... Huh?"

"Bear in mind that I am remaining very, very calm. What did you do?"

"I don't know what...uh...what?"

Lyra lowered her head in frustration then shoved the book at Derpy "Read it."

Derpys eyes widened "I don't understand!"

On the page where the Shadows of Ponyville entry used to be, there was nothing.

Nothing except a simple two lined paragraph in the dead centre

I'm not dead

Let's have a party.


	3. I Welcome you to RIFT

The day went by fairly quickly after that,in all honesty, it was a huge blur to Derpy, things didn't settle down until late afternoon, (they didn't even end up getting lunch) as Derpy and Lyra sat down on their opposing sides of the interrogation room

"What was with the stunt you pulled earlier?" Lyra scowled

"I didn't do anything! honestly! I was incapable of moving from that bed all night, and I had no way to get to the journal anyway! how could I have altered it?"

"You're clearly working with somepony! You're in cahoots with..."

"Lyra, calm down!"Bon Bon stepped in between them

The green unicorn took a deep breath "You're just lucky the journal returned back to normal."She rubbed her forehead with her hoof "Let's try this differently, I will ask you some questions, and you are going to answer them honestly, agreed?"

"Well, okay."

"When did you receive the journal?"

"During my Saturday mail rounds two weeks ago."

"How did you receive the journal?"

"Princess Twilight gave it to me than disappeared."

Lyra scribbled something down on her note pad "She disappeared? How so?"

"Well, the journal was in a brown paper package and I was looking at it, I looked up and she was gone, I couldn't see her anywhere."

Lyra scribbled something else down then gave Bon Bon the piece of paper she was writing on "Take this to Rarity." she muttered

"Rarity? You mean Pinkie's friend Rarity?"

Lyra nodded enthusiastically, breaking her usual serious aura "Oh yes, Rarity's awesome! Dawn wanted to get her to bring the other elements of harmony to help on some experiments with the abilities of the elements, but I said no because this is exactly..."

"Lyra shut up."Cloudchaser rolled her eyes

"Hmm? Oh, right, Ahem." Lyra assumed her usual serious persona "Rarity works here alright, suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you that much, as long as you don't blow her cover later. Now, let us resume the..."

"Who's Dawn?"

Lyra glared at her through firey amber eyes "That does not concern you, You'll find I'm the one who is asking the questions here." (at this point Derpy began to wonder how stable Lyra actually was)

"Even though you know more than I do?" Derpy replied equally

"Oh I highly doubt that." a sly grin spread across the previously glaring face "In fact..."

"If you even start to make a pun..." Cloudchaser raised her eyebrow

"Why do you always assume that I am going to make a pun when I say in fact?"

"Because you always do make a pun when you say in fact."

She frowned "Do I really?"

"Yes!"

"Well I obviously must not say that a lot."

"You say it at least twice a week."

"Do I really? Huh, I should probably stop that."

"Please do."

"Ahem." Derpy cleared her throat

"Right, where were we?"

"You were telling me who Dawn was?"

"Ha Ha." Lyra let out a dry laugh "Now, Why would Pinkie trust you with something as important as this? A clumsy mailmare who has never had any interaction with her besides delievering the wrong mail? The element of laughter isn't she?"

In the background Cloudchaser turned around and started banging her head on the wall

"What"

"Perhaps it was a little joke that she cleary didn't understand the implications of."

"Is."

"Took it a bit to far hmm? Maybe the things in the journal aren't really happening."

"Wrong"

Derpys voice was a little horse "she wouldn't do something like that."

"Would she really not?"

"With."

"She's to nice to do something mean like that. All of her pranks are harmless, so everyone, including the pony pranked can have a laugh, and

that's not really what you're thinking is it

"This."

"You know this is serious, you wouldn't have arrested me otherwise, you're realising something, but it just confirmed your worst fears, something you're freaking out about, but you don't want me to know, you're trying to get me out of this aren't you? Pretending it's a false alarm, but this is more serious than you thought isn't it?"

"Mare"

"CLOUDCHASER STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" Lyra burst out, avoiding Derpys gaze.

There was silence.

"Fine, but remember, I tried to get you out of this." Lyra whispered Raising her head to Derpys (slightly crooked) eye level.

Lyra started to sing

**I give you a warm welcome,**

**I welcome you to R.I.F.T.**

**And you are not leaving**

**till I know each little bit**

**Of information you possess**

**Why did it have to come to this, **

**I had a good life, I had had friends**

**Why don't all the pieces seem to fit...**

**So, I,**

**Give you a warm welcome**

**and I welcome you to R.I.F.T.**

**I will see fit**

**that I know what you know,**

**The pieces of the puzzle,**

**They just don't seem to fit **

**I don't care how long it takes, no I don't care one bit,**

**I will figure this out**

**So I welcome, I welcome you to R.I.F.T.**

Derpy began to interject with her own verse

_Wasn't such a welcome,_

_Wasn't quite so warm_

_I've been arrested and that's that_

_But I did nothing wrong_

_You keep trying to get answers_

_But I want some of my own_

_Will somepony please just tell me,_

_What's going on?_

_So, I,_

_Give you a warm welcome_

_and I welcome you to R.I.F.T._

_I will see fit_

_that I know what you know,_

_The pieces of the puzzle,_

_They just don't seem to fit _

_I don't care how long it takes, no I don't care one bit,_

_I will figure this out_

_So I welcome, I welcome you to R.I.F.T._

_But wait there's more to the mystery_

_Then meets the eye_

**But the answer lies beyond my grasp**

**What do I have to do?**

_I haven't had a restful sleep since _

_I don't rememeber when_

**I just want out of this crazy mess**

**Is that too much to ask?**

_But I have to discover _

_What the truth is_

**To a question **

**That hasn't been asked**

_If the answers not the answer_

**_Maybe it's the question_**

_If I just knew what was happening_

**I would know what to do**

For a spilt second, Silence fell

**I give you a warm welcome,**

_Wasn't such a welcome,_

**I welcome you to R.I.F.T.**

_Wasn't quite so warm_

**And you are not leaving**

_I've been arrested and that's that_

**till I know each little bit**

_But I did nothing wrong_

**Of information you possess**

_You keep trying to get answers_

**Why did it have to come to this, **

_But I want some of my own_

**I had a good life, I had had friends**

_Will somepony please just tell me,_

**Why don't all the pieces seem to fit...**

___What's going_ _on..._

_**So, I,**_

_**Give you a warm welcome**_

_**and I welcome you to R.I.F.T.**_

_**I will see fit**_

_**that I know what you know,**_

_**The pieces of the puzzle,**_

_**They just don't seem to fit **_

_**I don't care how long it takes, no I don't care one bit,**_

_**I will figure this out**_

_**So I welcome, I welcome you to R.I.F.T.**_


	4. The Hourglass Phantom

Surprise slouched on a bench while sipping cofee, her laptop buzzed with electricity.

The earpiece bleeped "Talk to me."

"Right so you know how you asked me to find a little 'present' for your 'friends'"

"What do you have?"

"Well,I found a little something called the hourglass phantom, figured it was just what you wanted."

"brilliant, send through a link."a message sounded on her computer

She grinned "That is Fantastic."

Two weeks had past since Derpy had been taken to R.I.F.T.

Two extremely dull weeks, She had been interrogated a few times, but she hadn't seen Lyra,or the journal in days. Ethan tried to keep Derpy in the loop of what Lyra was doing, but that was extremely difficult, as he wasn't in the loop himself. Which lead Derpy to realise why he was the one they sent to take care of her,in a sense. It was the perfect job for him, he would be on the case, but not on the case, and he was told to answer all of Derpys questions, which he couldn't.

All he knew was that Lyra had been in her office for two straight days, never sleeping, With Bon Bon going in and out constantly bringing coffee, which concerned everypony a great deal. Bon Bon hadn't said what she was doing, just that she had not been sleeping at all.

And despite that, the last few weeks nothing had happened.

Until Derpy woke up in the middle of the night.

She woke up to the sound of screaming.

With a mighty flap of her wings, she propelled herself quickly into the ceiling.

"Ow, forehead, bruise, ow." she plopped down holding her head

The screaming continued, she heard hoofsteps rushing down the hall, with a complaint of "I told her!"

Derpy crashed into the door, as she could not be bothered banging on it "What's happening?"

Flitters voice came out of the intercom"Don't worry, go back to sleep."

The grey mailmare snorted "Not likely with that racket." but nopony heard her.

A few minutes later she heard them come back up the hall "I told you you need to sleep, It's just not healthy to obsess about this

There was a snort "Right, trying to stop an apocalypse is not healthy."

"This kind of obsession can drive ponies insane."

"I'm not obsessing okay!"

"You haven't slept in two days, you are going in the spare room and sleeping tillyou are fully rested, then you are going to have the day off."

"But..."

"If there's an emergency you'll be contacted, trust me. it will be good for you."

"And what if I wake up screaming again, Derpy is bound to want to know what's happening!"

"Oh she already does."

"What! If that's the case then she's been listening to this whole conversation." everything went silent.

Derpy woke up later that morning to the rapid sound of banging on her door

Grumbling, she rose her head. The clock face read 6:42 "Wha...?"

Cloudchaser was above her, glaring "Get up. Now."

"But what..."

"Now."

She rubbed her eyes and the followed the periwinkle agent down the hallway, into a room which she didn't recognise.

It was huge, with at least ten slim silver desks supporting very modern looking computer monitors, On each monitor there was an hourglass turning over, as if something was loading.

Cloudchaser lead Derpy to the largest computer screen up in the front of the room, now when I say largest, I mean it was the hugest computer screen you would ever have seen. Take an elephant, picture it in your mind.

Now through that image out because Its a completely rubbish comparison.

The size of that thing was roughly 150 inches across, 75 inches down, with a very thin framing around it. in covered at least half the wall.

In other words, It was the flippen biggest computer screen in the history of the universe, or at least the Pony universe, But would there be a computer screen this big in the Human universe?There probably is, But why would someone (or Pony) need a screen that big? Having a monitor this big was probably just one of Lyras ways to through around ridiculously large wads of money (R.I.F.T. had a surprising amount of ridiculously large wads of money)

What was happening? Oh yes, Lyra was rapidly putting in commands on said computer with huge monitor, but no matter what she did, the hourglass stayed

"SOMEPONY GET ME SOME RIDICULOUSLY OVER CAFFEINATED DRINKS OR I SWEAR TO CELESTIA I WILL..." The green unicorn was interupted by Bon Bon bringing over a can a caffeinated cola flavoured soda "Thank you!"

Lyra Turned to Derpy suddenly "What the hay did you?"

"What did I do? You're the one with broken computers!"

"Don't try to be smart, I'm the smart one here. Now what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!"

They started talking at the same time

"Well of course you're going to say that! It's not like..."

"No, I really didn't..."

"I mean I supposing that you really were..."

"...Could I mess with your computers anyways?"

"...Then you obviously would not be stupid enough to..."

"...is it? Last time I even touched a computer it..."

"...no way to know if you're telling the truth or not..."

"You're not listening to me are you?"

"Unless..." Lyra eyes lit up

"No." said Bon Bon

"But..."

"No."

"But I'm your boss!"

"And I am in contact with your boss, you would most certainly agree that no."

"You suck!" Lyra poked her tounge out "Now, computers! Virus of some sort, It's not damaging the files, That's good, It's accessing the files,

That's good, I mean bad, I think I can firewall it, that's good, oh never mind I can't, that's bad,"

She started at the green numbers for a few minutes that dragged on like they were centuries.

"Alright, I have good news and bad news." She looked more tired than she had all the time that Derpy had been there

"What would that be?" Derpy was getting more and more nervous, the dark circles under the unicorns eyes made her look like she would kill the mailmare in an instant without blinking

"Well," with a deep breath Lyra looked calmer, yet with a distinct hint of terror in her eyes "The files aren't being accessed anymore."

"And..."Bon bon cringed

"And..." Lyra bit her lip

"And...?" Cloudchaser Cringed

"And..." Lyra sounded like she wasn't breathing

"And...?!" Flitter was frustrated

"And..." Lyra was on the verge of panicking

"And...?"Derpy narrowed her eyes

"Whoever hacked into our system has complete access to all of our systems" Lyra let out a nervous laugh "Whatever virus they sent into the system isn't affected by anything I throw at it!"

"So the only way we can get them out of the system is to..."

"Find the pony that's accessing the system. But it's not that simple, they've locked us out and changed the password."

"Are you sure you just haven't forgotten it again?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Lyra scowled then turned back to the computer

"But you're the only pony capable of getting into those computers by force, does this mean..."

"I hope not." She was silent for a few minutes.

The hourglass disappeared, and after Lyra slumped in her chair, she proceeded to lean towards Derpy " Do you know what we are faced with here?"

"Uh, a problem?"

"We are faced with something called the Parasprite Predicament, any idea what that is?"

"Sorry, no."

"Its a term, used when two opposing forces have to work together to abolish an particularly dangerous threat, however if they work together, they both lose something that in the long run,will take it's toll. There is no right answer."

"It's a double trap."

"Exactly, except one threat is more prominent than the other."

"So what have I got to lose?"

"Your chance of getting out of this before your stuck in it for the rest of your live, never getting out, and even though you're life might seem normal again, it never will be."

"And what do you have to lose?"

Lyra backed away "That is a story I'll save for a rainy day."

Derpy noticed a red book sitting on Lyras over sized desk "Why do you need that?"

"Hmm, Well we were hoping it would answer some of our questions,but so far it's only confused us more."

"And why's that?"

Just then, the journal started to glow.

Derpy looked at it.

Lyra looked at it.

Derpy looked at Lyra.

Lyra looked at Derpy.

They both looked at the journal.

At the exact same instant they leaped for it, wrestling for a minute or so, until Derpy kicked Lyra in the face, scooped up the journal, then took off down the hallway. Lyra levitated the book out of her mouth and calmly stood her ground

"I am a level five mage with combat experience and a team of at least fifteen agents ready to mobilise at any given time, do you really think you stand a chance?"

Derpy looked both ways. Cloudchaser and Flitter flanked either side of her, Tazers at the ready. Bon bon was walking down the hallway with a cardboard drink holder holding a coffee cup in her jaws, along with a newspaper, at the other side of the hallway more ponies were rushing down towards them, in full combat uniform, ready to support Lyra, who was staring down Derpy calmly, levitating the journal .

"Well." She took a deep breath. She knew what she was about to do required perfect timing, a certain level of coordination, some amount of skill, and was completly insane. "I'm a wall eyed mailmare with no backup, very little coordination, no experience in combat..."

She wacked an unsuspecting Bon Bon in the face, which spilt the coffee all over the newspaper, which read: _15 ponies disappear in one week!_ and also Flitter, who dropped her tazer in... well this was freshly made coffee, of course she was gonna drop the tazer, which Derpy picked up

"And a tazer, I say I've got a fair chance."

She lept out of Cloudchasers range, narrowly avoiding being hit with the white hot sparks of electricity and aimed at Lyra, who made shield just in time.

The unicorn sent a few bolts of magic out, which lead our young hero to do the most impressive back-flip we will ever see in the history of any universe. It was so awesome that time itself slowed to observe this amazing phenomenon. all the R.I.F.T. personnel present, dropped whatever they were holding and gaped in awe of the glorious feat of dodging, Rainbow Dash herself would be jealous of this amazing back flip.

That's how awesome it was.

So most of the agents that were coming were in a dazed stupior , But not Lyra, she was all game.

Not hesitating For an instant, she went at Derpy with all of the power she could put into a spell.

The mailmare flew backwards as a painful green light seared her chest What am I doing? she thought desperatly, her mind foggy.

She looked up and Lyra was charging at her, horn glowing. She rolled out of the way, sticking her leg out, which tripped her up.

Meanwhile the agents had been released from their stupor, and were reading their weapons

Derpy scooped up the journal as soon as Lyra hit the ground. But as soon as Derpy had picked it up, the unicron was back on her hooves, calmly striding across the floor. The air crackled with energy, both magic and electricity, as the mares circled each other, both waiting for the moment to strike. The back up agents held their ground, knowing that intervening at this point would be the worst thing they could do.

Derpy attacked first, but Lyra was blinking, she cast a jet of water, knocking the tazer out of Derpys hoof, then with a dramatic spin she kicked the mailmare in the head.

Which caused Derpys eyes to cross.

And we all know what happens when Derpys eyes cross.

Chaos ensued. Within minutes Lyra was knocked out, all the agents had one, if not two, black eyes, one pegasus had a dead wing, an earth pony had a dislocated shoulder (don't ask.) two other ponies had been knocked out and a huge mess had been made, she didn't intend to cause damage, she was only trying to gain her footing, which wasn't as easy as it seemed, and it was getting worse and worse until finally she felt a blunt thud on her forehead.

Everything went black


	5. No Right Answer

Derpy woke up about half an hour later, back in what was presumably the same room that she had been sleeping in for the past week

"What happen?" she sat up

"You're asking me!" A slightly familiar voice spoke up.

The mailmare looked around. She was alone.

"Quite a show you put on out there, honestly, Lyra has this massive black eye!"

"Um... who are you and where are you?"

"Oh, why spoil the surprise?"

"Who are you? How are you talking to me? What's going on?"

"I'm sure we can save pleasantries for later can't we? Yes, I believe so. I have control of all the systems in that building, of course controling the intercom isn't a big issue, and I'm breaking you out!"

Derpy frowned "Not that I don't appreciate it, but why would you be getting me out of here?"

"Ah, just helping ponies whenever I can! Ready to begin?"

"Begin what?" Derpy knew she had heard that voice before

"Getting you out, duh! Now are you ready?"

"Uh..."

there was a huffing noise "Look, now or never! Are you going to come?"

"Well I want to know why you are getting me out first! Everypony else suspects I'm up to something, why do you think I'm not? And why go to such lengths to help a pony you don't even know?"

"What? Why wouldn't I know you? We've been... " There was cursing "Oh duh, That makes so much more sense! And here I was thinking... Oh that was staring me right in the face! Sorry Ditzy, I'm Surprise."

Derpy was confused "Who's Ditzy?"

Surprise cursed again "Sorry, got you mixed up with somepony else, can we go now?"

"Okay, but I want some answers when I get out!"

"Honestly... Well I can't really call you kid now can I? You're older than me! I think it's better you don't get answers and stay out of this entirly, let the pros handle it."

"Stay out of what?"

"Let's keep it that way."

"Lyra tried to keep me out of it as well, why don't either of you want me in this? Isn't it better an adult handle this instead of some unstable eighteen year old unicorn and... whoever you are?"

"You may be older but I have... wait, who's this unstable eighteen year old unicorn?"

"Uhh... Lyra Heartstrings?"

"Noooo..." Surprise obviously couldn't believe it "Lyra's eighteen? And she's in charge? Well of course but... that's not good!last I saw her she was... is she still extremely... well, Lyra?"

"Uh.. I don't know, she's all serious, this is what must happen, no I'm the smart one, stay out of it, blahah bla blahah"

"Well that's a bit different, any ways, I have experience in this, you don't. I am the only pony that knows what their doing, I have to be the one to set this right."

"Set what right?"

"Nothing! Forget I said anything! We were getting you out! Right, we have to get out undetected, whole place is on red alert and you missy have not been helping with your whole spaz out thing so we can't exactly waltz out the front door. alternate exits... alternate exits... I know! Can't be the fire escape, that'll set off the alarm but it's a secret agency, their bound to have at least one...yes! I found it!"

"Found what?"

"Alright, if I make a diversion then open the door the guards on patrol will be gone, you'll open the vent closest to you then go straight forward."

"But in the vent there's not gonna be an intercom! how will I..."

"Duh, you pick pocket an earpiece off one of the guards!"

"But they'll be..."

"Trust me!"

"But..."

"Good luck."

She heard a click, the door was unlocked, outside the guards were frantically saying something then rushed , Derpy pushed open the door open, the was one guard who stood in the middle of the walkway, very confused.

Then he started screaming "aaahhhh!" he ripped the blue tooth out of his ear "Dumb thing!" the orange earth pony snorted, running to catch up with the others.

Derpy shoved it in her ear

"What did I tell you? Private feed, all to our selves!"

"Why was he screaming?"

"Oh don't worry, just feedback, harmless really!Now shut the door, climb into the ventilation shaft and for celestias sake put the cover back on, we do not want them knowing you're gone till it's too late."

"Why don't you want me to help?" Derpy questioned while carefully following her instructions

There was a moment of silence "Because it's dangerous." Surprise was choosing her words very carefully "You shouldn't have anything to do with this, you'll get hurt, and if there's one thing I've learned from... my experiences it's that we can get through things without innocent ponies getting hurt."

"What experiences?" Derpy crawled through the narrow shaft "I'm in by the way."

"Keep going forwards until you reach a T cross road"

"And I can't help but notice that you sound awfully familiar."

"Look, you can waste your time grilling me for answers that you won't get or you can keep moving!"

Derpy tried to take note of her surroundings, but it was pretty much the same as every other ventilation shaft, the only noticeable thing to take note of was they distinct smell of stale hay.

Her head bumped against something cold "Which way?"

"Right, no left, wait Right, no.. yes Right."

"Right?"

"Right."

"Final answer?"

"Yes."

"Alright then, If I get lost it's your fault"

"I know I know!"

This shaft was colder, and smelt like peanut butter, either that or Derpy was smelling things.

"Brr, can you turn the heating on?"

"Little busy here!" Surprise sounded strained

"What is it?"

"Get off of my face Jerry! This is serious!"

"Who's Jerry?"

"Ah ha! Did I leave this on?"

"Yeah..."

"Sorry about that! Above you there should be an opening , can you fly up?"

Derpy felt the edge of the tunnel "Bit to narrow but I can squeeze up there."

"Go through the first opening you find when you're up."

Derpy jumped up. There was no way she could flap her wings in the gap, but she could pull herself up. She gave a flap to get herself up, then used her legs to stay in place. The climbing was tedious, but after five minutes of this hard work, her hoof found a gap "I got... Aahh!" The slippery surface gave way

"Derpy? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, hoof slipped a bit, But I can now get to the opening" Derpy heaved herself onto the ground "I've figured out."

"Figured what out?"

"Who you are. You're Pinkie, that's why you sound so familiar! It all fits!"

"Fine deduction Watson, But unfortunatly you are incorrect, and it was such a close guess as well, what a shame that you missed one vital detail."

"And what would that be?"

"I suppose you'll just have to wait and see! Hey did I just rhyme?"

"I think so."

" There is a grate right below you, carefully remove it then slip down past the guards!"

"What?"

"Be very quiet."

Cringing, Derpy removed the panel, right below her, two ponies stood guard,the room itself consisted of many shelves, which were all empty. Except for one, which had a single book on it.

A red book.

A book Derpy knew very well. She didn't need any instructions from Surprise, silently, our Daring hero soared over their heads, picked up the Journal, and crept back in

"You'd think a top secret organization would have better security than this." she said when she was in the all clear

All she heard back was static

"Surprise?" Static

"Surprise don't leave me in this shaft!"

a click noise "Sorry, had some issues, I want you to go down and grab.."

"I already did that!"

"Oh!"

"Now why did you want me to get this?"

"Lyra should not be in possession of such an artifact, it's much better somepony who is aware of what she's doing."

"So you only want me out to get my journal?"

"It's not yours! It's Pinkies."

"And it was given to me!"

"I'm trying to do you a favour here! You don't want to be a part of this!"

"If you're part of this then why can't I be? Why are you trying to take charge when I'm the one this was given to? Pinkie gave me the responsibility to figure out what's going on!"

Surprise seemed mad "How can you try to take responsibility for something that has nothing to do with you? you have no idea what you're getting into!"

"Then give me an idea!Tell me what I'd be getting into!"

"This is my problem, I can sort it out by myself."

"What is the problem?"

"Just keep going down the tunnel so you can get out okay, I don't want to talk about this right now!"

"Fine."

The rest of the journey consisted of five wrong turns, tense directions, and a few injuries, but finally, Surprise said

"Open the grate and you should be home free!"

"Seriously, just like that?"

"Just like that!"

Derpy slammed the grate open. She was in the middle of the everfree forest "how did you..."

"All secret agency's are the same." A voice from behind her said "Secret exits are everywhere if you just look."

She turned around to find Surprise behind her, she was a white Earth pony mare, her mane was puffy and bright yellow,her cuite mare was three magenta balloons and her eyes were dark blue.

And besides the colour difference, she looked exactly like Pinkie

"You were the pony out side of sugar cube corner!"

"What? Oh, yeah, what about it?"

"You disappeared! how did you?"

The earth pony pulled something out of her bag "Vortex manipulator, easy time and space travel."

"Time and Space travel?"

"Uh.. yeah. Now, down to business, would you be kind enough to give me the journal?" she gestured towards the red object Derpy had set on the ground

"Why should I?"

"Because this has nothing to do with you, your best option would be to get out of this."

Derpy thought back on the conversation she had with Lyra

_"So what have I got to lose?"_

_"Your chance of getting out of this before your stuck in it for the rest of your live, never getitng out, and even though you're life might seem normal again, it never will be."_

But then she thought about Pinkie, Derpy wasn't sure why she was given the journal, but the note was clearly for her. Pinkie must have needed her to have it, otherwise she wouldn't have been given it But did it have to be her? Surely Surprise could take care of it.

_As I write this, one thing is clear. Neither of our lives will ever be the same._

But was that such a bad thing? Derpys life had been somewhat dull before this, but was it too exciting now?

If she gave Surprise the journal, she would be out of it. The problem would be in more experienced hooves, probably more capable of dealing with whatever was thrown at them, and less likely to screw up, better for the Doctor, better for everypony. Derpys life wouldn't change, but what if The Doctor and Pinkie needed her specifically?

_He saved thousands of pony's lives; don't let anypony tell you otherwise._

But if he was going to save ponies, shouldn't Derpy try to help? And her life had been so dull before, she knew they would need help.

_There is no right answer._

"No, I don't think it would be. This has had something to do with me ever since I got the journal, but you could help by telling me what is going on."

"well it seems I don't have to!" Surprise exclaimed sarcastically "Because you are so inistant that you do this and not me you probably won't need any help, after all I try to help but nooo You are perfectly capable of fixing a problem that you clearly don't understand the implications of." she face hoofed "The ponies here are so freaking stubborn."

"I just want to help, okay! Alright lets make a deal, you get the journal if you tell me what the problem is."

" You know what? Keep the book. Probably not an asset anyways, But I will tell you this."

Surprise tightened her saddle bag, which contained all of her objects, except the vortex manipulator, which she put around her leg.

"Time is running out, and things are going to get really dangerous really fast.

"What?"

"Now when the R.I.F.T. agents realise you're gone, the well come charging out of every exit they know of, so you need to get out of here quickly."

"But Surprise how..."

"Tick tock Derpy, tick tock!" She disappeared

The mailmare stood there in silence for a few seconds "Well she was useless!"


	6. Allons-y!

So this adventure starts about five minutes after the last one, the Doctor was in the TARDIS, being ever so slightly incompetent with the controls, that good looking pony Jack Harkness was talking to somepony over at the edge of the town (Not really relevant but worth noting) and a few ponies were running around doing there jobs and stuff.

Meanwhile Gummy was refusing to get on the TARDIS

"Come on Gummy, we're going!"

He rolled out of my arms "Nope. I don't trust him. I don't trust that box either. It's all a giant conspiracy, I'm sure of it."

"You're being super duper silly Gummy!"

"Am I? Am I really?"

"Yes! Alright when we get back to Ponyville you can stay there with Fluttershy!"

"Well if she is anything like the blue one then I don't want anything to do with her!"

"Do we really have to go over this again?"

Gummy strode into the TARDIS, and tried to eat the Doctor again

"Ahh! Gummy for the last time my leg is not food!" He cried

"If we end up on the moon I'm gonna eat you for reals."

I laughed and pulled the alligator off his leg " You're so funny Gummy!"

"It won't be so funny when I am the supreme ruler of the..."

I just ignored him "Ready Whooves?"

"Allons-y! Oh there's something I haven't said in a while, Allons-y! I honestly can't remember the last time I said that!" he pushed down on a lever

"Whooohoooo!" I cried as the TARDIS started up

"Ponyville here we... " The box lurched violently

"That didn't happen before!"

"Something is not right here!"the Doctor dropped a mallet "Not again! Can you hit right there with this? I can't grab..." another lurch sent the Doctor tumbling

"Oki doki loki!" I scooped it up a bashed the control panel superly hard

"Thanks" He bounded up up to the screen "Something's interfering with... " Another jolt sent sparks everywhere we both grabbed the console

"What's going on?"

"Something blocking us,same kind of energy that the TARDIS seems to be using in this universe except there's also some electro magenetic energy in there and it won't let any thing through!"

"What?"

The TARDIS started spinning around and there was really loud noise that the Doctor says was the cloister bell which is the TARDIS alarm system or something and we started falling .

"Oh sweet Celestia we're all going to die!" Gummy cried "We're all going to die! We're all going to die!"

"Get a grip Gummy!" I grabbed him by the shoulders "We are not going to die!"

"YES WE ARE I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE THIS WAS SUCH A BAD IDEA..."

I slapped him with each word "GET. A. GRIP. WE. ARE NOT. GOING. TO DIE!"

"PINKIE PLEASE STOP SLAPPING THAT ALLIGATOR WE ARE ABOUT TO CRASH WHO KNOWS WHERE AND THAT IS NOT HELPING!"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT CHIN BOY!" Gummy flailed around uselessly

"GERONIMO!" the Doctor grinned as the TARDIS started to plummet

"WEEEE!"

"I HATE YOU BOTH!"

We landed with a big crash and the lights flickered and I heard a few things fall over somewhere in the back of the ship

"Where are we?"

"Probably not in Ponyville!" he strode out the doors confidently

"You coming Gummy?"

"Me? Uh uh. But you, you don't get killed peasant."

"Alright Gummy!" I rolled my eyes "See ya later alligator!" I giggled

"Ha ha." He laughed sarcastically "Because saying that to an alligator is extremely hilarious, You are such a card. very classy"

I gave him a hug "Don't leave the TARDIS then"

"Whateves" He scattered off

The Doctor was looking at me "So How can you communicate with Gummy any=ways?"

"Meh, I dunno! Never really thought about it!"

"Right... Okay, let's see where we are!" he kicked the door open.

Outside dust was settling, and the TARDIS had made a ditch a couple meters long while crashing. And the TARDIS itself, oh the Doctors reaction when he saw it just, oh it was really funny the TARDIS wasn't a blue box any more, it was a gigantic road cone! I don't even know! The Doctor explained the chameleon circuit and how it broke and what it was supposed to do and this just didn't make sense but the Doctors reaction though!

"I'm sorry, but I will not let this stay this way!" He stomped in

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to break it again! Or fix it or something but I travel in a blue box not a fluorescent orange cone! That doesn't even make sense!"

"Break what and he's gone." I shrugged "I kind of like it but okay." I knocked on where we came out of (Apparently cones don't have doors)but I was stuck outside for the next twenty or so minutes until finally I looked at it and it was the box again, didn't say police box anymore, said pony box (weird) and the Doctor came out with a slip of paper in his mouth which he spat out

"Whoever fixed the TARDIS messed with the chameleon circuit and left this!"

_All you had to do was hot wire the fragment links and superseed the binary... okay this is just getting ridiculous._

"What's getting ridiculous?"

"I don't know! I think the chameleon circuit thing was just a prank. They fixed the chameleon circuit the programmed it to turn into a giant traffic cone! No one..."

"Pony!"

"Pony would turn something into a giant traffic cone unless it was for a joke, I can't think of any other reason, but why would they prank me?"

"Beats me!"

The dust had settled and I saw some ponies were coming towards us

the Doctor trashed one of his hooves around a few times, not sure what he was trying to accomplish but the TARDIS disappeared

"Left it a few seconds ahead of us, I'll get it back when we leave, but we'd better deal with this crowd first." By now the dust had settled, and a few ponies had come to investigate, one was a bright green earth pony mare with a dark braided mane and an magnifying glass cutie mark, the second was a aqua unicorn stallion with a short purple mane,who's cutie mark was a puzzle piece, the pegasus in the group was periwinkle, her mane was all long and flowey and dark blue with icy blue edges, her cutie mark was a galaxy, and the final pony was a blue unicorn with a darker mane that had a white streak in it, her cutie mark was exactly the same as the Doctors.

Said unicorn stormed right up to us with no emotion at all and the Doctor and I exchanged glances like Uh oh what did we do this can't be good, do we run or what? however we stood there and the unicorn grabbed the Doctor and full out kissed him on the lips and he just stood there like_ What do I do What do I do? This random pony just came out of nowhere and kissed me how am I supposed to react what do I do?_ and we all stared at the mare who was rolling on the ground laughing hard out

"What the hay Romana?" The green Earth pony demanded

And she just laughed harder till finally she calmed down and looked at the the Doctor who just said:

"What?" and he seemed genuinely confused

The unicorn raised an eyebrow for a second then gave a slight nod like ooohhh "Heh, well this is awkward!" She smiled

"O.k. then random pony that just snogged me for no apparent reason, do I know you?"

"No, not yet! But I know you and It's really nice to see that you're not... well... crazy! "

"Alright then, Well you know me but I don't know, hang on what do you mean by that?"

"Oh you'll see!"

"Romana, why did you just...?"

"Inside joke Cle clo, don't worry!"

"You know these ponies?"

"Oh yes, this is, uh, Time turner, he used to... work with me in Baltimare, , Pinkie here was his assistant! I, sent a letter asking them to help with the case!"

The pegasus snorted "You think we need help? We are perfectly capable of handling this our selves!"

"I know, they... sent a letter and I replied and said 'hey! why don't you come down it would be great!' and they said sure so here they are!"

"Actually I've never..."I began, but she shoved her hoof in my mouth with a smile

The green pony sighed "Please tell us next time! Honestly the things we have to put up with!"

"I know, I'm sorry, but we've been a bit busy, If you want them to leave I'm sure they'd be happy to go!"

"No, no,they came all the way from Baltimare, may as well stay." She held her hoof out "Clever Clover, I'm Romanas boss"

"Clever Clover? Like Clover the Clever?"

"If I had a bit for every time somepony pointed that out!" she shook her head

"Well I'm Pinkie Pie and this is the..."

"And this is Time turner!" Romana interrupted "Now I haven't seen these ponies in ages so can we have some time to... catch up?"

"Yes, I think that that would be best." The Doctor raised an eyebrow

"Meet you back at Head Quarters in an hour then, please don't, don't get distracted again, remember what happened last time you did that?"

"Okay that was once and if I ran off to get you it would have been to late!"

"Are you kidding! You almost got yourself killed!"

"But I didn't!"

"You know what, forget about it!"

Romana waved at the ponies as they left as soon as they were gone she looked at the Doctor "Alright, not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but What are you two doing here?"

"Believe me we didn't land here intentionally!"

"Honestly, I want to solve something on my own and you show up, do you understand how frustrating that gets?"

"Again we're not here intention, our ship crashed! Not to be rude or anything but who are you and why did you just cover for us?"

"Ouh, Spoilers." She gave a sly smile while turning around "Fillydelphia, 987, all of the parasprites dissapear for exactly a week,suspicous smoke is rising from Foal mountains,a team of four ponies known as the Fillydelphia Paranormal investigation Agency go to investigate and are never seen again."

"Right..."

"Except for one, she turns up five years later at a party in Manehatten rambling on about something called the parasprite prediciment"

"Do all the places here have bad horse puns?"

"Pretty much."

I raised my hoof "We don't even know your name."

The unicorn smiled "Well for discussions sake let's just say that it's Romana okay?"

"For discussions sake? Why would we need it for a discussion? Is it not your real name? Why wouldn't you use your real name? We should have a party where everypony tries to be another pony at that party! That would be so fun! I could be the Doctor! All 'I have no idea where I am, oh no Pinkie you broke my ship!"

"You should never ever insult Bowties they are the coolest things in the universe and fezes and all the cool!" Romana joined in

"Well they are and why are you doing this?"The Doctor interjected

"Why does everything here have horse puns! How am I supposed to use these hooves? This universe confuses me!"

"No you shouldn't mess with timestreams, nothing good comes out of that!"

"You two are really doing this?"

"Where did you pull that tuba out of?"

"I am not that bad!"

"Why is my TARDIS covered in icing! Type fortys work perfectly fine!"

"How did you eat that whole cake in one bite?"

"No Sparkler, stop destroying the fabric of reality, we need that!"

" Why are you... Wait a minute did you say Sparkler?"

"Moving on!" She marched off


	7. Stomp your hooves, Turn around

So we grabbed a bite at a local restaurant, And let me tell you that food was good, they had these hay-fries that were perfectly cooked and this blackcurrant juice that just was amazing, the Doctor and Romana were discussing Equestrian history or something, turns out she was a time traveller, while I ate because that was good stuff.

Then a few ponies wearing Stetsons strode in the place like it they owned the town and

Romana said "You know, we should probably leave."

"Why? Do you not like them?"

"Let's go with that ."

"Who are they?" The Doctor whispered

"Ponies who don't like me very much."

They walked up to us "Well well well, look who decided to show up after our last incident, I'm surprised you dare even show your face around these parts." One stallion shoved his muzzle in her face, she didn't even blink

"You were arrested and publicly humiliated, that hardly calls for me to avoid places you go."

Alright I am at least 68% sure that he was drunk, he smelt drunk, he looked drunk, but he might not have been drunk. I'm really not sure.

Any ways he snorted then pull out a gun and I was like woah! and the Doctor was about to say something nut Romana just smiled and kicked the stallion in the face, sending him flying into a table across the room and the other ponies with him just pulled out theirs

"Okay, I'm sure we can come up with a perfectly rational solution to this problem that has less violence."

"Shut it." a unicorn fired at him, but the Doctor had moved to fast.

"Now, now boys, no need to be hasty." Romana grabbed the hoof of the earth pony,twisted it, and levitated the gun "Wouldn't want to do anything rash now would we?"

Meanwhile mister drunky pants had gotten up and was charging towards her

"Look out!" I cried but she was ready, she got a chair in her magic and swung it ducking as one of the hulligans fired. It was a full on fight, the Doctor was at the edge trying to say something but nopony could hear him, most ponies were just continuing on like this was normal, some ponies were goading them on (said ponies were probably drunk. I suppose there was a bar and it was a Friday evening. Yes, they were drunk. I am certain of it) And Romana was kicking their flanks, she got them all disarmed within a minute and there were seven of them some with multiple weapons and she was just punching and kicking in a coordinated circle. Then one pony got their gun back and aimed it at her but I was like, No, have some cake and icing went all over him. He looked really angry and aimed at me but I was ready! Cupcakes rained and I was suddenly in the fight, throwing whatever baked goods I could. Eventually the whole place was in a riot and it was chaos!

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO P!" The Doctor was standing on a table "Thank you! That was completely irrational and I see no reason why we have to be waving guns around so can we please put those away!"

There were instant objections, ponies shouting and arguing, it was about to break out into another fight when I stood up next to the Doctor

_Hey everypony, don't be such grumps!_

_We won't accomplish anything with useless arguing!_

_So drop what you're holding and come have a dance_

_Every pony enjoys a good party!_

_If you listen to me_

_I can guarantee_

_That you won't want to fight any-more!_

_So turn around, clap your hooves_

_Forget about your differences_

_'cause we're all the same underneath_

_Jump up, stomp your hooves_

_Doesn't matter who said what _

_or what who did, because Pinkie's here to say_

_Stomp your hooves turn around_

_It's time to love and tolerate!_

_Look at us, we're all ponies!_

_Care to say what seperates us?_

_If we get to know one another,_

_I'm sure we'll see _

_that there's more to this_

_Than meets the eye_

_We can all be friends in the end!_

_So turn around, clap your hooves_

_Forget about your differences_

_'cause we're all the same underneath_

_Jump up, stomp your hooves_

_Doesn't matter who said what _

_or what who did, because Pinkie's here to say_

_Stomp your hooves turn around_

_It's time to love and tolerate!_

Everypony cheered

**_So turn around, clap your hooves_**

**_Forget about your differences_**

**_'cause we're all the same underneath_**

**_Jump up, stomp your hooves_**

**_Doesn't matter who said what _**

**_or what who did, because we're here to say_**

**_Stomp your hooves, turn around_**

**_It's time to love and tolerate!_**

There was an instrumental

Every pony was dancing, and can I just say that I am really superly duperly happy that this result was better than my last attempt at a song like this. I grabbed the Doctor

"Come on!"

"I don't dance!"

I laughed "Sure you do!" I dragged him out, he kept tripping over himself and he was awful but we had a bit of a laugh and some fun.

_So turn around, clap your hooves_

_Forget about your differences_

_'cause we're all the same underneath_

_Jump up, stomp your hooves_

_Doesn't matter who said what _

_or what who did, because Pinkie's here to say_

_Stomp your hooves turn around_

_It's time to love and tolerate!_

**_So turn around, clap your hooves_**

**_Forget about your differences_**

**_'cause we're all the same underneath_**

**_Jump up, stomp your hooves_**

**_Doesn't matter who said what _**

**_or what who did, because we're here to say_**

**_Stomp your hooves, turn around_**

**_It's time to love and tolerate!_**

_**Doesn't matter who said what **_

_**or what who did, because we're here to say**_

_**Stomp your hooves turn around**_

_**It's time to love and tolerate!**_

_**Stomp your hooves turn around**_

_**It's time to love and tolerate!**_

_**Stomp your hooves turn around**_

_**It's time to love and tolerate!**_

Cheering erupted

"Pinkie that was brilliant! Did you just come up with that on the spot?" The Doctor asked

"Yeah! I do this all the time!"

He laughed "I have never seen anyone stop a fight with a song, that was Fantastic!"

"Why thank you!" I laughed

"Okay, hate to break the happy mood, but It's been an hour, so we should be leaving." Romana strode up to us

"Has it? Oh well we should get going then"

"Bye Everypony!" I cried as I left the building

So we walked (or bounced in my case) down the road , soon we entered a building, It looked like every other building on the street, except for the sign above the door, which read Fillydelphia Paranormal Investigation Agency

Inside was a normal living room, just the kind of one you would expect in a 900's home, with a fireplace and everything

"The upper story is H.Q., but we all live downstairs, quite cosy."

"Romana?" A voice came from upstairs

"Yeah?"

"Grab two extra gear bags then come up here okay?"

"Why didn't you grab them?"

"Just bring them up okay?"

"Alright" she rolled her eyes and grabbed to bags out of the cupboard

Upstairs had a giant pin board, there were slips of paper with notes on them and pictures, and all sorts of stuff were pinned up. There were four desks around the edges, each one had different things on it, like, one had a whole bunch of gizmo's and wires and that stuff, one had books and maps strewn across it, one was immaculately organized, with all the stationary neatly laid out, a few books carefully put between the book ends, and some papers stacked evenly in a rectangular desk. The last desk was completely empty, besides from a rubber duck that sat right in the middle of it.

Right in front of the pin board,which covered most of a wall, was a dining table, It was a nice dining table, made of some dark wood, gave the room that extra something. Anyways all the ponies we had seen earlier were sitting around it, there was a plate of cookies, which they were all eating

Once Clover Clever saw the bags Romana brought up she gestured towards the Pile of bags one the opposing side of the room "Put them there."

After the extra bags were down we sat at the table

"Alright, so you guys have been all caught up, I assume you know about the mission at hoof?"

"Actually Romana has told us very little, Just that we are investigating the smoke."

"Not just the smoke, for almost a week now, all Parasprites within a 15 mile radius of Foal mountain have disappeared."

"Okay..." The Doctor nodded "What's a Parasprite?"

We all kind of just looked at him. "What?" He protested

"Uh, it's a fuzzy thing, with these bug wings, they, eat all the food, really annoying." I tried to explain

"Thank you."

"Any-ways..." Clever was still looking at him "We're going to see if we can find a link between the two occurrences."

"Alright, I know who you two are," I pointed at Romana and Clever Clover "But who are you two?" I pointed at the others

"I'm Galaxia" The Periwinkle Pegasus extended her hoof, Smiling "I'm in charge of tactical positioning and navigation."

"Maze Warp"The stallion said"I make most of the equipment this team uses, such as this home-made EMF meter, design was by the lovely Galaxia." he pulled out a sleek silver device

"Not nearly as impressive as your amazing electrical work, not shabby for a pretty boy"

"Oh just proclaim your undieing love for each other already!" Romana rolled her eyes

They both looked away awkwardly.

"Moving on, we are leaving at six tomorrow morning, with any luck we should go without any problems from Fire Brew and his..."The bright green mare started

"Yeah about that, ran into him while we were getting a bite, he was drunk off his nut, fired a few bullets, started a huge bar fight, Pinkie sang a song, sorted it out, came after me, not so sure that we'll be that lucky."

Clover cringed "Anything Else?"

"Oh there's plenty of stuff, but nothing that is currently of any importance, might be later." Romana Smiled

"Sometimes the things we have to put up with from you."

"I know."

"Alright, Maze, can you make sure that the bags are properly equipped? Galaxia, clean up your mess, Romana, do whatever it is you do around here, Time turner was it?"

"No, it's the Doctor."

"That's a strange name, Alright Doctor,could you help Maze, and..."

"Pinkie!"

"Pinkie, help Galaxia with the maps, We leave as early as we can tomorrow!"


	8. Changing rules

When she said as early as we could,she really meant it, five in the morning, we were all up and ready. Don't think the Doctor slept though, he was wide awake when I went to sleep, and wide awake when I woke up. Hmm... now that I think about I've only seen him sleep once, in Sugercube corner, which raises the question, how often does he actually sleep? Meh. Who cares?

So the Doctor couldn't get the saddle bag on (figures) but Romana helped him (he looked kind of embarrassed) but eventually we all had our stuff and we set off

By the time we were out of Fillydelphia and in the woods Maze Warp and Galaxia were flirting.

By the time we were at the base of the mountain Romana and the Doctor were arguing.

Five minutes up the mountain Clever Clover was sick of it and tried to break it up which lead to more fighting with all of us.

Ten minutes (roughly) into this intense debate, Gummy interrupted, which caused great distress within the group as he wouldn't get off Clever Clovers face but I pulled him off and explained that he had no teeth.

"Pinkamena why do you take joy in ruining my fun?" He glared at me

"You have a pet alligator?" Clever looked at me in, I don't know really what it was, it was either amazement or horror. Eh.

"Yep!" I dangled upside down in front of them

"Er, Pinkie, where are you hanging from?"The Doctor looked up,

"Uh... Good question..."I looked at my tail

"Silly peasants." Gummy was dangling from my hair

"I don't think I can get down!"

"Oh I remember this!" Romana spoke up "You just, let go!"

"Of what?"

"Uh..."she hit her head "I know this, I know this!"

Maze warp pulled out one of his gadgets "No recognisable magic signals, no electromagnetic pulses, in fact there's no sign of anything abnormal, It's just... air!"

"I've done this a gazillion times without thinking about it, but I can't remember how to get down!"

"Then don't think about it!" Clever suggested

"There's literally nothing to think about!"

"I know this!"Romana announced "Pinkie, focus on me."

"Why?"

"Just listen to the sound of my voice okay?"

"Okay"

She sounded super duper serious "You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends,but you can't pick your friends nose."

"What!" I fell down head-first "Ow!"

She grinned "Works like a charm."

"How did you know that would work?"The Doctor asked

"I have experience in this."

"Right. Well we'd better keep moving!"

"I agree Doctor. The longer we stand here the more time we have to walk later." Clever gestured forward

So the next few hours were dull, trudging up the mountain, a few conversations broke out, and we paused a few times to check our location and grab a drink, it was a cold day, but we were still getting thirsty with all this hiking. When we stopped for lunch we were about halfway up the mountain

Romana came and sat next to me while the Doctor talked to Clever Clover

"So, how you liking time travelling?" she asked me

"Oh it's the best! haven't been at it for that long but IT's the most fun I've had since, well the last time I've had this much fun!"

"Good, good. Been to Manehatten yet?"

"No, just Avem so far. Avem and here."

"Oh right. I'm thinking of going to Manehatten soon, but it was nice taking a break from, the current issue at hoof, nice to do now and then."

"The current issue?"

"Don't worry about it, you'll have plenty of time for that later!"

"Time for what?"

"What about the Doctor? How is he?"

"Well, fine I guess, he was sad about something when we first met, and sometimes he seems a bit distant, but hanging out with him is tons of fun! Why?"

"I worry about him sometimes. I'm glad that you're travelling with him, he needs somepony to look out for him."

"After you, well, kissed him, you said that it was nice to see he wasn't crazy, what was up with that?"

"What, the kissing or the comment?"

"Both actually."

"Well the kissing was just for the facial expression he pulls, I don't know why but I find that so hilarious!"

"It was pretty funny" we both laughed

"Yeah and as for the comment, well, I worry about him."

"Why? He goes around saving Ponies,what's to worry about?"

"Sometimes when he's upset,he's a tad unpredictable, I mean he's awesome, truly awesome, I just, worry about him sometimes. Other times I don't and just kind of do my own thing, in fact that's what I usually do, but sometimes I worry." She paused " Don't tell him that."

"Oki doki loki!"

"Uh oh, here comes trouble!" Galaxia called out

It was the pony that had attacked Romana, Fire Brew, and his gang were coming up the side of the mountain

"Oh great, just what we need, another interruption!" Clever Clover rolled her eyes

"I vote we just ignore them!" Maze Warp flopped back

"Oh I would much rather ignore them but whenever they come they come looking for trouble."

"Ain't that the truth. They won't just leave us to do our own thing will they?" Galaxia laid next to Maze warp

"Maybe we could try talking to them?" I suggested

"I agree! We talk sarcastically and they will just walk off"

"Yes! What an amazing plan Romana, why did we not come up with it sooner?" Clever commented dryly

"Because science!"

"Of course, silly me

"We have a few hours head start on them, we should be able to get to the top of the mountain before they catch up." Galaxia squinted "Probably five hours twenty six minutes before they catch up."

"Such an exact number." The Doctor looked at her

"Numbers work like that for me."

"Okay then."

"If that's the case then we should probably get going." We began clean up

"So what's with you and these guys?"

"They work in the same field as us, but all of our money comes from an inheritance I got from my grandfather, I grew up with Fire Brew and we never managed to get along, always competing, he learned that I was in this bushiness, found a rich pony who didn't like my family who was just so happy to give them however many bits they need. Bear in mind that there are only so many cases at a time, lots of weird stuff happens in Equestria, but it isn't enough so that we don't have to compete for almost every case."

"Okay, So what exactly are the things you look into?"

"Everything from unexplained disappearances to ghost sightings. Aliens, a few crime scenes,there was one time when we were looking into some legend about Celestias evil sister, Nightmare moon, you know the legend of nightmare night?"

"You have no idea." I giggled

"Yeah, well we had to deal with this huge nightmare moon like problem a few months back."

"Oh that was a good one, remind me to tell you that story later!" Romana grinned

"Okay, can we leave?" Maze warp rolled his eyes

"Let's, they'll catch up if we don't get moving." Galaxia nodded

So for the next few hours we climbed the mountain, after that we only made one or two stops. But can I just say (or write, whatever) that these Ponies were great! They were funny and really down to earth, Clever Clover was really smart,the real leader of the group, but she made a few jokes. Galaxia was really nice, but she occasionally made comments that none of us except for Maze could understand, and those two constantly flirted , and not just with each other, Maze Warp also flirted a bit with Romana, and vice versa, Romana also teased the Doctor a bit when he tried to have a quiet conversation about something, and he just smiled

"You know you remind me of some one," He said much to her surprise then frowned "I just can't remember who."

"Probably nopony important then." She smiled

"Right." But they both looked kind of troubled, but when the Doctor realised I was looking he smiled "So,how 'bout dem apples?" He said in a funny voice, Romana laughed

Gummy wasn't very impressed "Oh please! Just when things were getting interesting!"

"I know right?" I muttered

So almost got to the top of the mountain by night fall.

"I say we get some rest." Galaxia announced "the smoke is coming out about two miles away from here, we can get the investigation done by tommorrow. I'll scout ahead for any routes of access" She flew off

"You mean we can?" It was Fire Brew

"We got here first, forget it!" Clever snorted

"You're way out of your depth, as always!"

"And yet we manage to solve almost every case we're on."

"Besides, we have at least two professionals here." Romana commented

"We are 100 times more professional than you are!" One of his ponies, a blue one with a shaggy grey mane "And we the support of the whole town, and you are just outcasts with no friends except each other!"

"Outcasts that humiliated you on the steel ponies case. " Clever rolled her eyes

"Besides that I have way more experience than any of you will ever have!" Romana flicked her hair

"Oh really, and how is this?" The yellow mare demanded

She winked "Spoilers."

"How's the grandpa Clover? Bit warm? At least our funding doesn't come from a dead pony!" Flame Brew taunted

"That's it." She pulled a revolver out of nowhere and shoved it in his face

"Well that escalated quickly!" in one Comment Gummy summed up the whole situation

"Okay then! " The Doctor tried to remain calm "Clever, could you please put the gun away, shooting people is not the answer."

There was an intense moment of silence "You're right." She glared at Flame Brew while putting it away

Galaxia returned "There's an access hatch at the edge, but it's got some kind of enchantment lock on it, probably take two level four unicorns to get it opened

"Well I'm level four!" Maze warp spoke up

"Same." The yellow mare announced.

Clever looked at Romana "Please tell me you're a level four mage!"

"Sorry." She shook her head

"I don't mean to sound stupid or anything but what are these levels everyone..."

"Pony!"

"Pony keeps talking about?

"Oh, uh it's, the spell thing, uh, Unicorns study spells and different spells are different levels, which ever level they are at is, yeah."

"Somehow that makes sense. So why not work together? If you can't get the door open without each other then why not?"

"Because we would lose all our funding when our investors find out. We would have trouble getting another case again."

"And that would be like losing any and all self respect for us."

"Last time we tried It nearly destroyed my sanity!" Galaxia agreed

"You're telling me!"

"Okay okay, I get it, but don't you think this petty little rivalry has gone on long enough? I mean, ever since you were kids! Think of the stuff you could achieve if you worked together! Something is going on inside that door and the only way to find out is if you two can work together for one day!"

The two teams looked at each other, meanwhile I whisked out the party canon and began decorating, as I figured an emergency party was needed

Fire brew looked at the ground "The comment was uncalled for, I'm sorry."

Clever Clover scratched her head "Sorry for pulling the gun out, I honestly don't know where that came from. seriously though where did that come from?"

Everypony shrugged

"Probably doesn't matter!" Romana Decided

"Weeeee! New bestest friends party!" I stood on the party cannon as I rolled past

"Pinkie... I don't think a party is... how did you get this decorating done so quickly?"

"Party cannon!" I stood on the rim of the party cannon with my front legs while rolling in front of them

"How..." he frowned

"Weeeee!"

"Why do I even ask at this point?"

Romana put her hoof on his shoulder "I ask myself the very same question every day."

"I don't mean to be rude, but I think we are all too tired for a party. Sorry" Clever looked at Flame brew who nodded

"She's right."

I sighed dramatically "Fine!"

"Sorry."

So we settled down to sleep after eating dinner which was cooked over a campfire and joking around a bit, I guess despite the hostile air surrounding the two teams, it was really a friendly rivalry. That was pretty awesome!

So everypony was asleep or trying to get to sleep in their sleeping bag, but I couldn't sleep and I saw the Doctor sitting next to the dying fire.

I walked up to him "Shouldn't you get some sleep?"

"I don't really sleep that often. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Can't sleep. Sometimes I'm just not very tired." I sat next to him

We sat there in silence for a few minutes till he spoke "There's magic here."

"You're only just now realising this?"

"Sorry, bit preoccupied with the fact that I'm a horse!" He sighed "Everything's different here, I'm used to, well, being able to pick things up and walk on two legs. I guess I'm not used to not knowing... anything! I keep forgetting that the rules are different here, this is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done."


	9. Well that was unexpected

So we talked a bit, I explained the Elements of Harmony, told him about some of me and my friends adventures.

Afterwards he asked me "Pinkie, it sound like you had a brilliant life with your friends in Ponyville, so why did you come with me?"

"Because you looked like you needed a friend silly!" I hugged him

So I eventually went to sleep

Then I woke up to a full on Parasprite attack. Now it wasn't a swarm, oh no. just one.

Of course that one was flippen gigantic.

"Galaxia! the entrance hatch!"The Doctor called

She nodded "This way!" she took off. We raced after her, finding a entrance hatch just sitting there on the top of the mountain

"Lemony tart, Maze warp, can you get it opened?" Clever asked

They looked at each other and nodded. The unicorns struggled to get it opened, and the Giant Parasprite was almost on us when Romana rolled her eyes

"For Celestias sake!" She cast a spell that sent it flying off it's hinges

Maze looked at her in astonishment "You said you weren't even level four!"

"Because that's the issue here!" She had an insane look in her eyes "You really think we need to go there right now?"

"Come on toothpaste peasant, hurry up, I have had it up to here with you! Everywhere we land! it's all..."

"Gummy, we left you on the TARDIS!"

"Oh she's a genius! Neighbel prize goes to Pinkamena!"

"You don't have to be rude about it!"

"Oh yeah,you can talk to him can't you?" Romana said with little interest, pushing us all into the door and sealing it shut "He tagged along with me instead of you last time we meet, for me that is."

"Okay I have turned a blind eye to this for quite some time" Clever started "But I know you defiantly aren't from Baltimare, your friends don't really even know you,there is a grown mare talking to an alligator, Romana explain this or I swear to Celestia."

"For starters my name isn't Romana!"

"Then what is it?"

"Haven't decided yet, I guess I just don't like Romana any-more."

"What do you mean you haven't decided?"

"Well I change it every now and then, keeps things fresh."

"So what do we call you then?"

"Just call me Sparkler for now."

"Where is Maze?" Galaxia realised

"He was here when I pushed everypony in."

We all stood there in silence.

"We'd better get going." Flame Brew nodded.

The hallway was dimly lit by a few lightbulbs in the roof. The Doctor pulled out the sonic screwdriver, gave a quick whirr,and the lights instantly brightened

"There we go." he slipped it back into his pocket

"How did you do that?"

"Moving on!" Romana/Sparkler/whatever called out

There was a door to the left of us, and a hallway to the right of us, in front there was a wall. A very boring wall. Seriously, I had to watch paint dry once and this wall was more boring than that! Right, what was I saying? oh yes, A door and a hallway

"Alright, Pinkie you go with, Fire brew and, whoever those two are, I'll go with Sparkler, Clever and Galaxia."

"Taking all the mares hmm?"

"I hate you."

"No, you rely on me, whole difference!"

"I do not rely on you!" The started to walk off

"You think type 40s work perfectly fine!"

They left arguing. I literally understood none of what I heard.

I tugged at the door handle "It's locked!"

"Here, let me." The unicorn, Lemony Tart, stepped forward, horn glowing. A puzzle was revealed on the door

"I don't get it." Flame Brew shook his head

"I think it's some kind of number puzzle" Lemony Tart nodded

"Done!" I called out as the door disappeared

They looked at me in astonishment "How did you do that?"

"My friend Twilight taught me how to solve these kinds of problems! I saw her working on one and she explained it!"

The lights started to flicker.

"Come on, we'd better..." Flame Brew started

There was a scream and the other guy (Never found out his name) was gone

"Run!" We charged down the hallway

"Some kind of teleportation spell I'd say" Lemony Tart decided pulling out a device about the size of a juice box"Heading south" she took lead "Not very complex signal, easy to trace."

The lights were flashing like , you know those strobe likes that are sometimes at parties? you know, the ones that make everyting go trippy, like a whole bunch of pictures flashed one after another, You know the ones, It was like that

we turned the corner, colliding with a blue shape, followed by a bright green shape

There was cursing from both parties, and a blue light accompanied by a whirring noise,

Romana, no, Sparkler slipped a pencil sized object into her bag as the lights returned. Clever Clover was standing

"Nice to see you!" The blue unicorn smiled

"likewise." Fire Brew nodded

"Where's the Doctor? And Galaxia?" I asked

Clever shoke her head "Gone, they just disappeared! I see you've had the same problem."

"Yeah, we're working on tracking them down."

"Same here."

"Well we can assume they've been taken to the same place can't we?"

"Most likely."

"Well then." Flame brew smiled

"We'd better get going!" Clever smiled back

"See!"I jumped on top of them "The Doctor said you would be a great team!"

So we kept going

"Psst."

I looked around

"Over here." It was the Doctor

"You've got to stop running of like that!" I exclaimed "Hey guys, wait..." There was a hoof in my mouth

"Come on, I have something I want to show you." there was a green glint in his eyes

"Wait a second..."

"Pinkie don't trust him, that's a changeling!" Sparklers horn glowed, and the changelings disguise was revealed

"This is all changelings?" Lemony Tart called out

It had recovered by now, so it growled and lept onto the nearest pony.

Which was me.

Let me just say, Twilight had cast a teleportation spell on me once or twice, and a changling teleportation spell is a heck of a lot different. For one thing, it smelled funny. Not haha funny, weird funny. and everything was green, with unicorn spells it's magenta.

Anyways once we had landed I was shoved into one of those changling cocoon things.

It was not nice.

So, I dunno, about ten minutes later the pod was peeled open. It was the Doctor. Now I know that it was actually the Doctor 'cause he couldn't use his hooves, So I gave him a big hug!

"What happened?" I asked

He shushed me "Those pony insect things are everywhere, they been capturing ponies and putting them in the cocoon things." he whispered

"They're called Changelings, I've faced them a few times, change into a pony, usually capturing said pony, then feed off other ponies love for them, this capturing everypony is really weird though, and what does this have to do with Parasprites?"

"You mean the fluffy things?"

"Yeah!

He gestured for me to follow him. We hid behind some random junk and he pointed at a giant cauldron thing with a large pipe going into the roof.

"They're in there, and I'm assuming they're not always that big."

"Nope."

"So they've been growing giant Parasprites, but why? Insect ponies that feed off, how do they exactly feed off love?"

"You'll have to ask Twilight."

"The alicorn princess?"

"That's the one!"

"I'll need to remember to do that. In fact I'll have to ask her about this magic stuff as well. I need to ask her about a lot."

"Yeah, sorry I can't be of more help."

Across the room the door creaked open,And Romana poked her head through. She and the Doctor looked at each from their hiding places for a few seconds, then he turned to me as the unicorn shut the door

"Alright Pinkie, follow me!"

"I feel like I'm missing something."

"I was doing timelord stuff, now come along Pond." he walked off

"Pond?" I stood there for a second

He looked at me "What are you talking about?"

"You just said come along pond, that makes no sense."

"No, I said come along Pie, as in, Pinkie Pie."

"No, you said pond!"

He scoffed "Don't be ridiculous, why would I say pond?"

"Oki doki loki!" I decided to just move on, he probably just made a mistake.

He scrambled awkwardly over the pile , grabbing the attention of literally every Changling in the room

"Stay where you are!"one commanded as soon as he had regained his footing

"Right, so you can put me back into that slimy cocoon thing again? I don't think so! Quite frankly that was just plain rude. Now why would you be capturing the ponies one by one? You feed off the love for the ponies you replace right? So why capture all the ponies and not bother taking their place?" He walked around with an air of somepony who was in charge "What are you planning?" The stallion bounded over to the giant device, and the Changelings looked at each other like What do we do? This is really strange. What?

"And what is this? Giant Parasprites, what do you want with these? I'm the Doctor by the way."

"Well Doctor," The queen stepped out of the shadows, and all of her workers parted so she could be in the front row "It's a contraption designed to help us in the conquering of you foolish little ponies!" she smirked "And there's nothing that can stop it once it's activated, so there's nothing you can do to save your pathetic little kingdom."

"Oh I wouldn't say that." He smiled equally

"Never underestimate us." Galaxia stepped in to support the Doctor, she was joined by Maze and the other guy, and I quickly came to his side

"Oh how cute." she sneered "Four ponies against the Changeling empire."

"Actually I know two ponies that defeated the Changeling Empire all by themselves, just when it looked like they would win, so..."

"Mark my words, Equestria will be ours by dawn! Guards, seize them!" She commanded

"Stay where you are!"The Doctor called " So why do you want to conquer Equestria any-ways? These ponies are the nicest species I've ever met, and I have met quite a few species, They don't deserve to be attacked and driven out of their homes, what would you even have to gain?"

"My subjects are starving, there is no place on this whole planet with more love than Equestria..." she started

"And why would you want to ruin that? Why ruin the nicest place on the planet by attacking it? There would be nothing left for you to eat, why haven't you just tried talking to this nations rulers? I know you could work something out!"

"He's right." Clever walked into the circle, followed by Lemony Tart, and Flame Brew "Celestia is a reasonable mare, she wouldn't leave you to starve if she knew what was going on!"

"No she isn't! Why do you think Changelings are like this? She cursed our ancestors to be like this, you think she doesn't know that we're starving? Well she should because she caused it!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked "Celestia would never do something that terrible!"

"Oh, so you think Celestia is a goody two shoes then?" she snorted "She sent her own sister to the moon! She just had the whole incident with making Changelings erased because it didn't look good! But we never forgot and we will never forgive her!"

"She didn't make you a Changeling did she?" Maze warp spoke up

The Changeling queen frowned "Well no, not directly."

One of her servants looked at us then tapped on her shoulder "Uh, Queen Morphia..."

"Silence!"

"Then why do you hold a grudge, didn't happen to you, move on!"

Morphia face hoofed, horn glowing "I'm done talking, guards seize them!"

Her doomsday device shuddered with a green glow then started to smoke as the Changelings tried to force us into the cocoon things again

"Is that supposed to do that?" One of the drones asked the Changeling queen

"What the..." She turned towards the Doctor "You ruined my contraption! You ruined my master plan! You little..." She raised a hoof to slap him

"Oi!" A blue figure called out "it was actually me! Why does he always get the credit?"

Flame Brew took advantage of this momentary distraction to attack his captor, so all the changlings turned into one of us. The other guy Lemony Tart and Flame brew began to fight their way out, mistook me for a Changeling and smacked me!

"Hey, it's me!" I cried

"What! No, I'm the original!" A Changeling called out,

"No you meanie pants, I am!" another one called out all the Changelings. All of them turned into me, each claiming to be the original

A flash of light from Sparkler revealed me as the real Pinkie

"Thanks!" Galaxia helped me up

"Give it up Morphia! There is no way you can win!" Clever called out

"Maybe not, but there's no way I will let you get away with this!" The voice didn't seem to come from anywhere in particular "I worked so very hard on this, spent my whole life devising a plan to get rid of Equestria,I'm not going to let the ponies who screwed it up go unpunished" She appeared behind Maze and Galaxia "Boo!"

Just like that she Exploded into this green ball of light that would have ingulfed all of if it weren't for Lemony and Sparkler casting sheilds around us.

But the other members of the Fillydelphia Paranormal Investigation Agency weren't so lucky.

Galaxia and Maze Warp were gone, along with the Changeling Queen, But Clever was still there. She stared into Flame Brews eyes for a few seconds.

Then she collapsed,and was caught by the stallion. Her skin was turning black. Fangs started to sprout from her mouth. A crooked horn began to sprout from her forehead.

"No,no, no."Flame Brew cradled her in his hooves as she writhed in agony "Don't leave me, remember all the things we saod we were going to do?"

The Doctor leaned towards a Changeling next to him "What's going on?"

"Queen Morphia, she used her life energy to cast the spell, it turns ponies into Changelings, but the energy she used to cast it, your other two friends were incinerated, they were closest, But she, she's going to become a Changeling, if the process doesn't kill her." I think the poor guy was still trying to comprehend what just happened, The Changeling that is, not the Doctor.

"It was going to be me and you, against all the evils in the world,how did it go so wrong?" He pulled her into his chest. He was begining to cry "Please don't leave me, I don't know what I would do without you. Please, stay with me."

Gummy crawled onto my shoulder. I almost could swear I saw a tear run down the Doctors cheek

"How did it go so wrong?" Flame Brew sobbed as she fell still, though she was half pony half changeling. Then The stallion... he... he kissed the presumably dead body. What.

"This is sad and all, but am I the ponly one who saw this coming?"

"Shut up Gummy, nopony cares!"

Meanwhile, the corpsesmooch was still going on. then they started to glow and they were floating and there was a bright flash and all the Changelings were blown away(literally)And I was just standing there like what then they came back down.

Clever was back to normal, pretty much everypony was just like what?

Sparkler stepped forward "I don't believe it."

"What?"

"The kiss brought her back to life, Flame brew just brought her back from the brink of death. By Kissing her. He, he undid the curse!"

"That sounds like something out of a Fillytale!" I exclaimed "Who knew that this could actually..."

"It is, well, except now she's going to be insane, and Flame Brew won't remember this, but yeah!"

"What do you mean I won't remember this?" He stared at her

"You three, stand in a line over there."

"Why?" Lemony Tart demanded

"Please?" they did as they were asked"Doctor, will you do the honours?"

"I suppose." he placed his hoof on Lemony Tarts right temple and the other guys left temple, then he closed his eyes and all three of them lost conciousness

"What did you do?"

"Just wiped a few of their memory's, they shouldn't remember the last two days, I'll drop them off yesterday morning, they'll assume they have really bad hangovers."

"Oh, okay."

"Actually Doctor, to make sure they get there in time, I'll be dropping them all off."

"I know a pony called Sparkler." I told the unicorn "But she's pink, not blue, and she buys, or will buy, muffins from me at my work. In fact, she came by just before this crazy stallion fell out of the sky. " I ruffeled the Doctors hair

"Oh, I thought I was being original." she frowned "I guess I'll find another one then, I thought it was good."

"It was, just doesn't suit you!"

She made a snnrk noise "I suppose not. I'll find another one then, You two go have another adventure though, we'll clean up this mess." She picked up Gummy

"Speak for yourself peasant."

"Another thing, Why did the Changelings just capture us? It doesn't seem like the normal thing for Changelings to have done." I wondered

Sparkler shrugged "Experimentation? I guess we should have asked before they were all blown away. Maybe we'll never know. Maybe it's something that will come up later. Maybe it really doesn't matter and we should move on."

"Speaking of moving on, I think we'd better leave, places to go, worlds to save, and an awufl lot of running to do!"

"Alright, See ya later Alligator!"I grinned

"We've been over this Pinkamena!"

Sparkler grinned "In a while Crocodile."

**End of Adventure 3**

* * *

Authors note:

The whole thing with the Doctor wiping memory's is from the 1597 faceless writers fanfiction, to be specific, doctor whooves 4, young armour, chapter seven.


	10. Epilogue

"Have a nice read then?"

Derpy nearly jumped out of her skin as Ethan sat next to her

"Are you going to take me back then?"

"No, I'm training to be on of the scientist units, not a field unit, so I won't get promoted if I do." He grinned "Besides, Lyra has decieded to lay off you for a while, I guess she figures that you won't be of much use, I believe she said that we don't needthe journal quite yet." He gave the mailmare a coffee.

"So what does this mean?"

"That you can go home. Since I'm not responsible for you and your questions anymore I won't be giving you the answers you want."

"Oh." Derpy tried not to sound dissapointed

"But that's for your safety, according to Lyra. She thinks that this is her responsibility,alone. She doesn't want much of anypony in this. She doesn't want you to get hurt. You have a family, and honestly, I think this case is the only thing she's got left."

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head "It's just, as long as I've known her, Lyra hasn't got any phone calls, any family problems, In fact, she is always at R.I.F.T. headquaters when she isn't doing feild work."

"So she never goes home?"

He shrugged "I guess not."

"So does Lyra know we're having this conversation?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." he stood up "I would be careful before diving any deeper into this if I were you, when she thinks something is dangerous then it's bound to be serious."

"So you won't help me any more?"

"I never said that, just... Think about it." he walked off, leaving Derpy alone on the bench

What is there to think about? I made my desicion when I didn't give Surprise the journal.

The pegasus sipped her coffee and looked around the park,everything was normal, just as it should Derpy could've sworn something was different. Maybe it was a scent on the air, maybe it was the temprature, maybe she was just overthinking it, after all, a lot had changed since she had last visited the park with her family. two months it had been. Just a few weeks before she got the journal. They had been there on a picnic, on a warm sunny day. Carrot top had gone back to their house.

We forgot the remembered, as she began wandering around the just after that, Dinky wandered off. The mailmare began to retrace her steps She went to this tree, It was the first time I had seen it. she placed her hoof on the bark Then Sparkler asked about her real parents, but I didn't have any was the only time she ever showed interest in them, ever.

Derpy turned away, Sparkler had lived with her and Dinky for five years, Dinky was three and Derpy needed somepony to be a rolemodel for her little muffin, somepony to teach her how to use magic, somepoony to be there for her when Derpy was at work. So she adopted Sparkler,who had just shown up in the park, lost, confused, and alone. The ponies at the orphanarium where only to happy to let Derpy take her, apparently she was somewhat a trouble child, a snarky little know it all who got constantly into fights. Now Derpy never had this problem, well, she was a snarky little know it all at times, but she wasn't as condesending as the caretakers said she was.

Anyways, Derpy got fired from her job as a real estate agent a few months later (she had one of her"Episodes" and destroyed the house she was trying to sell, didn't go down to well with her boss.) and she wasn't able to keep a job down. She fell behind on her rent, and was about to be kicked out on the street when Carrot top stepped in. She worked at the local produce stall which Sparkler bought the groceries from when Derpy couldn't. She had made friends with the teen and decieded to help out a little, letting Derpy and her family stay at her house. Derpy got a job at the post office and things started to look up. Dinky was at the top of her class, (Sparkler already was, Snarky litttle know it all) Sparkler started to foalsit for extra bits, and life in general was just better.

Then Derpy got the journal. Now she couldn't see where this was going, she didn't know what was happening, much less what would happen next. Oh well.

After a half an hour of wandering she was at her house, she didn't even realise that was where she was going, but nevertheless,she pushed open the door

"Uh, I'm home..."

Carrot Top was sitting on the couch, Sparklerwas in her usual cair, and sitting next to Carrot Top was an elegant unicorn mare, her curly purple mane flowed over her shoulders in the most ridiclously photogenic way possible to man kind. Pony kind? Probably both actually.

"Mom!" Sparkler launched herself across the room "Where have you been we've been worried sick! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine! I just had to answer some of their questions, once they found out I didn't know anything, they filed some releise forms, took a while for them to get through though!"

"What did they ask you about?"Carrot top asked

"Something called case butter" She could see the mare on the couch cringe

Carrot top frowned" Case Butter? What is that and why is it called case butter?"

"I really wish I knew either of those."

The mare on the couch had composed herself, and extended a hoof to Derpy "Hello Miss Hooves, I'm Rarity,I've been trying ot track you down for weeks, Carrot top just explained what happened, I was about to leave actually when you came!"

"Oh, uh, hi! What exactly did you want?"

"Oh Darling, I have a proporsition for you, I'm sure you'll find it most intriging!"

"What would that be?" Derpy snorted nervously

"I think it's best we discuss this in private."

"Uh... okay..."

Rarity gracefully swept into Derpys room

"So, what do you want?"

Rarity looked Dead serious "Alright, I have a message from Lyra."

"Oh yeah, you work for R.I.F. 't you?"

"LYra wanted me to tell you that she will back off, you won't be bothered by her again, but this is officialy a private case."

"Meaning?"

"That if you are caught interacting in anyway with this case you will be arested by the actual police."

"So the journal..."

"Lyra's letting that go for now. She's seen it, legally there is nothing more she can do."

"So the stuff you guys do is legal

Rarity flicked her mane "Of course Darling, it's top secret, but technically we are a legal authority. Celestia helped found this organization after all. Why do you think we can gain access to almost everywhere by waving these badges?"

"Oh... right..."

"Now I hope you know, this Doctor is wanted."

"What for?"

"Well, of counts that are public,petty theft, Theft, Grand theft, breaking and entering, unlawful entrance of private property, impersonation of fedral agents, damaging of private property, and damging of public property, which includes sugarcube corner now. Counts that are public that is."

"What about non public counts?"

"Part of case Butter, sorry, top secret"

"Oh, right."

"And another thing." Rarity Looked a Derpy "If anything happens to Pinkie, anything at all, then I swear to Celestia..."

"Oh... okay then... uh..."

"Now, I'll be going then, if you have any problems, you know where to find me"

She left Derpy.

Little did she know, Derpy had seen something in the past five minutes.

Something she was not supposed to see.

* * *

Authors note:

I am so sorry about that last chapter, I just don't know what went wrong, there were meant to be more Parasprites. And less Changelings. For the longest Chapter I've written yet, It just feels rushed. I'm sorry. I am so, so, sorry


End file.
